Sunday, July 21, 2013

Has your love language changed lately?

If you have read "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts" by Gary Chapman, you know what I am talking about. The basic idea is that people perceive and express love differently and in order for someone to feel loved, we have to express our love to that person not using our own love language but his/her love language. Mostly people have one primary love language and some may have a secondary love language.

There are five love languages according to him:

1. Words of Affirmation (uses words to praise and affirm other people)
2. Acts of Service (for these people, actions speak louder than words)
3. Receiving Gifts (for some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift)
4. Quality Time (this language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention)
5. Physical Touch (to this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch)

I used to think that my primary love language is physical touch because we don't demonstrate love by hugging, kissing, touching much in my own family and I feel like I always crave physical touch. I used to think that words are not necessary at times, and the appropriate touch at the right time would mean the most to me. When I am really sad, having a friend to sit with, a friend who would give me a hug or give me a pat on my shoulders means much more than any words of consolation to me.

Today, I re-did the online quiz for love language again here, my score's breakdown is like this:
7 Words of Affirmation
6 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
11 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch

So apparently my primary love language is Acts of Service now. No wonder I feel great when my husband helps me clean up the house and helps me with my baby so that I can have some ME time. I think it must be a mother thing. As for my husband, he told me that his love language was "Acts of Service" when we were doing premarital counseling three and a half years ago. But lately he is telling me that he is adding physical touch, words of affirmation and receiving gifts to his love languages (despite me insisting that each person can only have one primary love language) LOL.

Has your love language changed over time?


Originally posted on Bubblews:

(Image Credit: Amazon)


  1. My cousin let me borrow this book and I still haven't sat down to read it. Ugh. I need to!

    1. You should definitely read it! It's an easy read. I wish I read this book when I was 15 years younger. I definitely spend a lot more time trying to figure out what other people's love languages are after reading this book, so that I can talk to them in the right love language.