Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The need to be in-control, NOT!

We all feel like we need to be in control of something to make us feel stronger, feel more worthy, to gain respect from others, to feel sane. But how much are we willing to sacrifice in order to feel "in control"?

We plan, plan, plan every trip, every event, our everyday lives down to hours, minutes, seconds so that we can better control our time, our money, the outcome. But in the process of planning, we are trapping our freedom in those little checklists that we have dutifully created on our smartphones & our tablets and stressing ourselves out because we cannot check off everything on our to-do list.

We yell at the top of our lungs during an argument with our spouse, so that we can show them we are actually the ones who have the say in the house, we are the ones in control here. Yet, we didn't realize that we have already lost by losing all self-control and self-composure in the yelling.

We try to protect ourselves from hurtful words and actions of others by building this wall around us. We control who we interact with. We stop trying new things. We stop making new friends. We stop investing our energy in other people. We stop opening our ears to listen. Slowly this protective wall collapses around us, and you wake up in cold sweats one night in a room so enclosed that you cannot breathe or move, fully debilitated by loneliness.

We all try to control our own destiny, our path and yet our lives keep swervin
g from it most of the time, no matter what we do. We think we have the steering wheel in our hands but most of the time the wheel is not even attached to the dashboard.

I am slowly learning to, slowly trying to let go of my desire to control everything in my life, and to appreciate the chaos and randomness in life.

Originally published on Bubblews:

(Photo credit: - labeled for commercial reuse)

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